The groaning. Constant complaining. It is never ceasing. He complains just for conversation. He converses just to converse. It never ceases. Its painfully awkward hearing him babble. The words spoken have no meaning, no thought. He does not think about his words, they just happen. It’s a reaction, a primordial instinct to fill the void of silence. He is uncomfortable about his situation. You can see it in his eyes, he waited to the last minute to do the assignment. You know he wishes he hadn't, but he cant help it. He is a slave to his own habits. I go to check to the schedule board to see if there are any cases I can watch. He follows me. I go sit down in another location... he is still there, haunting me. Im not sure what to do, they never teach you how to react in a situation like this in the boy scouts. I look to my notebook and start writing my thoughts. I think maybe if he see’s me writing that he will leave me be. Again, he doesnt take the hint.
He is a nat, buzzing about, blissfully unaware of the annoyance that it is causing. Like a fly he doesnt leave me be.
I need to add quarters to the parking meeter outside. This assignment is taking longer than expected due to the lack of criminal cases. I rise to leave. He asks me where I’m going, i mumble something about quarters and parking tickets. I can tell that he wants to come with me, but I caught him off guard and head to the elevator quickly. I have escaped.
I walk to my car gingerly, knowing that when i returned I would be right back in his clutches. I enjoyed the silence. I wish I had brought my headphones, that is always a sure way of keeping people from talking to you. I, like some others I suppose, do not necessarily listen to music on my headphones. Occasionally I will just stick the plug into my pocket, the headphones not connected to anything, yet I wear them so that people assume I cannot hear them. This is the primary reason I use headphones rather than earbuds. Headphones leave no doubt in peoples minds that im listening to music, unless of course you are blind, in that case you wouldnt see me anyway so you wouldnt talk to me unless I made my presence known.
I return to the court lobby and proceed through the security checkpoint. I overhear one of the guards talking to another say something about getting his GED in a few weeks. I wonder to myself if they feel any contempt or jealousy towards the wealthy lawyers that pass through their checkpoint on a daily basis. I then wonder if maybe the lawyers are jealous of the guards.
When I reach the fifth floor I head straight to the bathroom. I had drank a coffee a few minutes before. I sat on my throne content with the near silence of the secluded bathroom.
I exited the bathroom and walked to the hallway where the courtrooms were. I made sure not to look at him in the eye for fear that he would try and continue whatever meaningless conversation we had had going previously. Earlier, before I knew that he was a gad fly, I had asked him if he had gotten tickets to saturdays football game. Unfortunately I had unintentionally gave him the seeds to much of his complaining. He kept mentioning how he had skipped getting tickets to be bored in a courtroom hall. I thought to myself how ignorant a statement this was. He arrived at the courthouse at roughly the same time as I, and i had managed to get tickets.
I sat down on a bench distant from the one he was sitting on. Another student was there.... another procrastinator, maybe someone who can take the burden of listening to this fools nonsense. My hopes went unfulfilled. For a few minutes I thought that i had acquired a second nat. The first nat told the second nat the same idiotic statement he had told me repeatedly earlier, the one about the tickets.
I sat in the hall for a bit. The second nat had left after following me from bulletin board to bulletin board, bench to bench. I think he got bored because he left, telling us how he wasnt going to waste any further time. If not of the first nat, I think i would have thought of the second nat as more of a puppy because he wasnt nearly as annoying and seemed to grasp reality better.
I get up to leave to go to the fourth floor, maybe there are some cases being tried down there. The nat follows me. I quickly check the case schedule on the forth floor and find that none of them are suitable for the assignment. People are bustling about in this hall, i imagine the gad fly is really a fly and that he attaches himself to some other persons festering wound of annoyance.
Without a word I head to the first floor. The fly is faithfully behind me, buzzing away about boredom and football tickets. The lobby of the first floor is a large an open space. The kind of space that if a stranger is within ten feet of yourself it feels odd. The gad fly is well within this zone... he is in the best friends forever zone. In order to shake him, and get him to exit the building, i head towards the exit.
Like a American fighter pilot flying over vietnam, trying to shake the soviet built MIG Fighter jet, I suddenly change trajectory towards the large central lobby desk. He is a better pilot than I. My efforts were fruitless. He kept on my tail like nothing had even happened.
The lady at the front desk is a very small grandma like character that has makeup on that screams at the world how she is in denial about her age. She might not have looked so petite if it wasnt for the massive desk she sat at, it was a true monolith. When I asked her if there was any criminal cases happening she replied in a sweet southern accent, the same kind as that typical hard working waitress that works in the old dinner across the street, the same waitress that knows what you want to order before you do. It was opposite to the NASCAR attending tea party member type of southern accent.
I went to the second floor and sat down on one of the hall benches. He sits as well. Too close for comfort. I briefly return to my own imagination. The police arrive, arrest the gad fly for invasion of personal space and charge him with general annoyance of the public as well. I snap out of this thought when I hear the gad fly say something to a broish looking character sitting on the bench across from us. As their dialogue continues I am snapped back five years in bro boys life. It is summer between his freshman and sophomore year of high school. He has just come to the realization that he can change the way he dresses, attempt to change his friends and change his hobbies in order to seek approval. He is an actor, a facade. His existence is shallow. He used to be the gadfly, but now he is a gadfly dressed up as a bro. I knew that all I needed was a flyswatter in order to shatter his whole show.
The time is up. Court is starting. No one but the officials can talk in there. I didnt have to hear the mindless chattering of gadfly. The defense attorney starts to speak...
Monday, September 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Things that make sense
I have to read some Native American creation myths for my literature class. The following is all that i got out of the readings.
1) "Men came after the animals and plants. At first there were only a brother and sister until he struck her with a fish and told her to multiply, and so it was."
-THE CHEROKEE
2) Iroquoi do not like their women having twins
3) The KIOWA's rout into the world was clogged up by a very large pregnant woman.
4) Cayote and Fox sang and danced earth into existence
-Miwok
Seems pretty awesome.
1) "Men came after the animals and plants. At first there were only a brother and sister until he struck her with a fish and told her to multiply, and so it was."
-THE CHEROKEE
2) Iroquoi do not like their women having twins
3) The KIOWA's rout into the world was clogged up by a very large pregnant woman.
4) Cayote and Fox sang and danced earth into existence
-Miwok
Seems pretty awesome.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
OH THE HUMANITY!
Don't cry for me Wrightwood
The truth is I will skype you
All through my college days
My steeze skiing
I kept my promise
I'll be back on break
And as for all the units, and all the roomates
I really dig them
Though it seemed crazy to go to boise
It will be a great time
I'll miss you all, maybe even re
I'll get my degree and help you all with your fines
I can dig it, I hope you dig too!
Don't cry for me Hillside
Have I said it all?
Dont think their is much more
I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do is skype me
To know that i'll be home soon
The truth is I will skype you
All through my college days
My steeze skiing
I kept my promise
I'll be back on break
And as for all the units, and all the roomates
I really dig them
Though it seemed crazy to go to boise
It will be a great time
I'll miss you all, maybe even re
I'll get my degree and help you all with your fines
I can dig it, I hope you dig too!
Don't cry for me Hillside
Have I said it all?
Dont think their is much more
I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do is skype me
To know that i'll be home soon
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Old piece that i posted on my old blog. "the Un-patriotic act"
We know what our great nation was founded upon freedom; freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom of religion, and an assortment of others. We also have our right to privacy, which we hold onto dearly. Our judicial system is held in check, and our accused have rights. In fact, you can’t even be accused without search warrants. All of this keeps police from imprisoning those who are an inconvenience to the government like we see in other countries. People in this nation of ours don’t have to worry about being profiled or monitored by the government secretly; we are allowed as a nation to privately discuss things among our peers things that the general population might not agree with, or find “dangerous”. We have always had these rights, they’re fundamentally American, and no one, nor anything could ever take them away… or could they?
September 11, 2001, a date that America will never forget. On this day, we learned that we are vulnerable to the same kinds of attacks that we had previously only seen on TV and movies. Suicide bombers and mass killings were things that only happened in the Middle East, not ever on our own soil. This day changed everything, and quickly America united. We came together with the willingness to sacrifice in order to save our people and not allow another drop of American blood to be spilled on our home soil. “Never again” we said, and we quickly took action; waging war against those who attacked, and passing legislation to prevent such atrocities from occurring again.
In the rush to create a safer America, we adopted new policies and congress passed new legislation, the most prominent piece of legislations was the “Patriot Act” H.R. 3162, or more formally known as Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism. The USA PATRIOT act did provide tools for obstructing terrorism. It did increase the security of our government. Our government was safer because of the patriot act, it has become easier for agencies to share intelligence. Its easier for agencies like the FBI to obtain surveillance on terrorists and conduct raids without going through the long process like they had to before, which, as they argued, gave the terrorists more time to flee.
Under US Code title 18;PART I; chapter 113B subsection 2331 terrorism is defined as “…violent acts …that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States… or that would be a criminal violation if committed within the jurisdiction of the United States.” The patriot act does not just involve international terrorism. Domestic terrorism was added under the umbrella of the Patriot act, allowing for a much broader conviction radius for terrorism. Under the definition of domestic terrorism is this sentence in subsection 5 ii: domestic terrorism includes actions that“[appear to] influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion.” Sounds like the American Revolution was an anti American terrorist act.
The vague wording in the Patriot act has lead to unchecked power for law enforcement agencies such as the FBI and CIA. With the definition of terrorism encompassing many crimes outside of which conventional wisdom would say is “terrorism”, law enforcement agencies can apply terrorism to any crime that they are having a hard time obtaining various warrants for. The Patriot act did protect the government, but not the people it is responsible for.
The Patriot Act allows for the judiciary system to be bypassed when arresting a suspect or person of interest. The Patriot act is basically a free pass for law enforcement agencies to disregard the fourth amendment of the bill of rights! And since domestic terrorism is under the umbrella of the Patriot act, Americans are being arrested on our soil without the due process of the law. Are we sacrificing are freedoms to protect our… freedoms? We fight for the love of our freedoms, and our solders lay down their lives for this country that has been the beacon of justice and freedom for the last two hundred and thirty two years, yet we are surrendering those rights which make us a great nation.
The general public is now realizing how much the Patriot Act crosses the line into being unconstitutional, so our legislators in Washington are taking action. The National Security Letters Reform Act of 2009 introduced by Rep. Jerrold Nadler [D-NY] can force our law enforcement agencies to abide by the law once again. H.R 1800 will again place searches and seizers under the fourth amendment, requiring warrants issued by a judge.
The National security letters reform act will require that issuing of official national security letters (warrants) certify specific facts providing reason to believe that the information or records sought pertain to a foreign power or agent. H.R 1800 also provides much greater protection for Americans rights by prohibiting national security letters from being issued in regards to a U.S citizen solely on the basis of activities protected by the first amendment.
Our nation needs to remember what our solders fight for, they fight for the American ideal, the idea that we have freedoms that cannot, and will not, be infringed upon by any force, even if that force be our own government. Rep. Nadler had this in mind when he introduced this bill; keep our national security strong, but our rights stronger. We need “to establish reasonable procedural protections for the use of national security letters, and for other purposes” As this bill proposes. We can’t let our freedoms slip away. I strongly urge you to investigate the Patriot act along with H.R 1800, see for yourself what we can do to protect our freedoms.
H.R 1800 does not solve all of our freedom infringement issues, but it is a step in the right direction. We still have issues with government infringing on our private bank account information, and other places where the government crosses the line. As citizens of this nation, we need to stay vigilant to protect those rights that are being infringed upon. We need to make sure that we are keeping the government honest; that it does as it was created to do, to serve the people. I say “never again” to the government infringing on our rights, and I hope that the rest of America will too.
September 11, 2001, a date that America will never forget. On this day, we learned that we are vulnerable to the same kinds of attacks that we had previously only seen on TV and movies. Suicide bombers and mass killings were things that only happened in the Middle East, not ever on our own soil. This day changed everything, and quickly America united. We came together with the willingness to sacrifice in order to save our people and not allow another drop of American blood to be spilled on our home soil. “Never again” we said, and we quickly took action; waging war against those who attacked, and passing legislation to prevent such atrocities from occurring again.
In the rush to create a safer America, we adopted new policies and congress passed new legislation, the most prominent piece of legislations was the “Patriot Act” H.R. 3162, or more formally known as Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism. The USA PATRIOT act did provide tools for obstructing terrorism. It did increase the security of our government. Our government was safer because of the patriot act, it has become easier for agencies to share intelligence. Its easier for agencies like the FBI to obtain surveillance on terrorists and conduct raids without going through the long process like they had to before, which, as they argued, gave the terrorists more time to flee.
Under US Code title 18;PART I; chapter 113B subsection 2331 terrorism is defined as “…violent acts …that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States… or that would be a criminal violation if committed within the jurisdiction of the United States.” The patriot act does not just involve international terrorism. Domestic terrorism was added under the umbrella of the Patriot act, allowing for a much broader conviction radius for terrorism. Under the definition of domestic terrorism is this sentence in subsection 5 ii: domestic terrorism includes actions that“[appear to] influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion.” Sounds like the American Revolution was an anti American terrorist act.
The vague wording in the Patriot act has lead to unchecked power for law enforcement agencies such as the FBI and CIA. With the definition of terrorism encompassing many crimes outside of which conventional wisdom would say is “terrorism”, law enforcement agencies can apply terrorism to any crime that they are having a hard time obtaining various warrants for. The Patriot act did protect the government, but not the people it is responsible for.
The Patriot Act allows for the judiciary system to be bypassed when arresting a suspect or person of interest. The Patriot act is basically a free pass for law enforcement agencies to disregard the fourth amendment of the bill of rights! And since domestic terrorism is under the umbrella of the Patriot act, Americans are being arrested on our soil without the due process of the law. Are we sacrificing are freedoms to protect our… freedoms? We fight for the love of our freedoms, and our solders lay down their lives for this country that has been the beacon of justice and freedom for the last two hundred and thirty two years, yet we are surrendering those rights which make us a great nation.
The general public is now realizing how much the Patriot Act crosses the line into being unconstitutional, so our legislators in Washington are taking action. The National Security Letters Reform Act of 2009 introduced by Rep. Jerrold Nadler [D-NY] can force our law enforcement agencies to abide by the law once again. H.R 1800 will again place searches and seizers under the fourth amendment, requiring warrants issued by a judge.
The National security letters reform act will require that issuing of official national security letters (warrants) certify specific facts providing reason to believe that the information or records sought pertain to a foreign power or agent. H.R 1800 also provides much greater protection for Americans rights by prohibiting national security letters from being issued in regards to a U.S citizen solely on the basis of activities protected by the first amendment.
Our nation needs to remember what our solders fight for, they fight for the American ideal, the idea that we have freedoms that cannot, and will not, be infringed upon by any force, even if that force be our own government. Rep. Nadler had this in mind when he introduced this bill; keep our national security strong, but our rights stronger. We need “to establish reasonable procedural protections for the use of national security letters, and for other purposes” As this bill proposes. We can’t let our freedoms slip away. I strongly urge you to investigate the Patriot act along with H.R 1800, see for yourself what we can do to protect our freedoms.
H.R 1800 does not solve all of our freedom infringement issues, but it is a step in the right direction. We still have issues with government infringing on our private bank account information, and other places where the government crosses the line. As citizens of this nation, we need to stay vigilant to protect those rights that are being infringed upon. We need to make sure that we are keeping the government honest; that it does as it was created to do, to serve the people. I say “never again” to the government infringing on our rights, and I hope that the rest of America will too.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
For the love of all that is good and manly
My great Uncle Gib was a very gnarly dude. He group up poor (and thats poor during the great depression, not just regular poor). He was a member of the Merrill's Marauders a special infantry group that fought in south east asia during WWII that suffered 100% casualties (everyone was jacked up, the least of those were the guys who got malaria. He and his brothers cut firelines by hand, he ran down a young coyote on foot. The man was the epitome of bad ass. He was also a perfectionist, making unbroken chains out of solid blocks of wood, he once sharpened an ax so sharp that he could shave with it just because one of his friends thought it couldnt be done.
Unfortunately for my face, i did not get to the glass sharpening part before i lost patience. I woke up feeling that the time was right, I had a very manly masculine tough glittery burly beard that needed shaving. so i took my amazingly sharp knife and got to business.
I had a few rules i set for myself-
1) no matter what, i would follow through and shave my whole face.
2) I could only use shaving cream once, i could not re-apply
3) I had to do it outside in the desert around a campfire after eating a can of pork and beans.
4) I had to keep my tough masculine composure the entire way through.
Needless to say, it was a painful and ineffective experience, I got my shave, but it was far from the best shave i have ever gotten, all though it was by far the most satisfying.
I saw Uncle Gib only once in my life, i was about 8 years old at the time and he made quite the impression on me. He was very tall and imposing man and his tail of the extremely sharp ax created a desire to do the same one day.
Awhile back i obtained one of my dad's old K-bars and made it my goal to sharpen it to where i could shave with it.
Shortly after I embarked on this journey i came to the realization that i will most likely never try to sharpen an ax to that point. I Spent countless hours (15 hours is considered countless)sharpening that knife. you start with a wetstone, use the rough side, then the smooth side of the wetstone, then move onto leather and finally you finish it off with glass. Yeah, sharpening with glass, who would have thought.
Unfortunately for my face, i did not get to the glass sharpening part before i lost patience. I woke up feeling that the time was right, I had a very manly masculine tough glittery burly beard that needed shaving. so i took my amazingly sharp knife and got to business.
I had a few rules i set for myself-
1) no matter what, i would follow through and shave my whole face.
2) I could only use shaving cream once, i could not re-apply
3) I had to do it outside in the desert around a campfire after eating a can of pork and beans.
4) I had to keep my tough masculine composure the entire way through.
Needless to say, it was a painful and ineffective experience, I got my shave, but it was far from the best shave i have ever gotten, all though it was by far the most satisfying.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Blogging
To me, blogging seems to be the second greatest form of attention whoring on the internet, barely behind TWITTER.
That being said, I have decided to start a new blog, I used to have one on MYSPACE, but MYSPACE is not deep enough for my incredible thoughts.
There are two reasons why I am going to start blogging again, the first being that I am the single greatest attention whore I know, I LOVE to hear myself talk. The second reason is that a few individuals have bugged me about starting a blog... Danny...
You may be wondering who Cornelius Pimpcain is, thats my pen name and one of my many alternate personalities (Houston Jones, Johnny Cragern, Joe Biden ect.). Cornelius is from Yorkshire in England and is an Adjunct professor at the University of Southern California San Diego.
In this blog I intend on covering a variety of subjects where i will convince you that i am an expert in. Anything you read on this blog you can take for fact, this is as reliable source as fox news (i get all my news there since they are SO fair and balanced) I wont lie like those communists over at CNN.
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